June 13th, 2011, checking in

Well, I see that it's been a good 2 and a half years since last posting up. My my my how times have changed.

Since my last post, the subject of my poking fun has left the building (and the company), we've opened up a new office and shut down three, I've added another member to my family, and brought a dog into the house. What else has been going on? Well, I had my gall bladder removed, had my youngest daughter in the hospital to have the opening of her stomach surgically opened, and have come to the conclusion that no matter how much I kick against the goads life will continue to throw me for a loop, as life does.

I can't change it and have stopped trying long ago.

Now, not all is doom and gloom bad stuff. Why is that? Well, we're going on a missionary trip to Navajoa, Mexico towards the end of summer, seeking to be the hands and feet of Jesus while we're there. It doesn't look like it's overly far from the Gulf of California, so I'm hoping there will be a chance to go over to the beach and get some fresh seafood. It should be a very enjoyable 15-day adventure for the family, and we're all looking forward to it.

Also, we're entering the summer season as a family on the move - family get-together's, a couple small getaway's and normal summer stuff are all in the works for us this year. Hoping the weather will turn soon, from the very spring-like conditions we've had, well all spring truth be told.

I will start posting more and more often than this huge lag; hopefully I'll have more than one follower as a result :-)

A new word of the day, on this, the last day of 2008.....

Let me just say this up front- after yesterday's debacle with our in-house MG, I was pretty much dead-set that today could not even come close to topping the hilarity a few of us witnessed and felt throughout the day. Well, I've been proven wrong. Not only have I learned the TRUE title of MG (Marketing and Public Relations Specialist.... WOW), but a few of us have now managed to give him a more fitting name- VAM. Preferably, VAM!!!, replete with exclamation points. Here's why.

I had an hour-long phone call with one of our customers yesterday, requesting capability for video display on their site, as well as archiving of said video, as well as pictures, newsletters and whatever else, for a year. For the uninitiated, that really poses some physical storage problems and bandwidth problems. Not insurmountable, but problems irregardless. During the conversation, the customer mentioned that he'd been in contact with MG, and he felt that more of an emphasis needed to be made on videos ("Google LOVES videos" is one of MG's favorite lines) on their site. Immediately, the 4 of us in my office groaned inwardly and rolled our eyes at each other. Apparently the quiet pause was felt on the other end of the phone, as we were asked "Are you still there?" repeatedly until we could compose ourselves enough to answer. I squelched the whole mention of MG by saying I needed to check in with El Presidente and our IT department before committing to anything.

Fast forward to today.

I managed to get in touch with El Presidente while he's out of town, and we talked about this particular customers needs, and we ended by both of us agreeing that again, I needed to talk to IT. So off I went.

Most of my visits to IT are met with a bit of nervousness and apprehension, because as they put it, "You don't even come back here to talk, you just say hi and start demanding stuff- what do you want?" Awesome! So I decide to just drop the bomb on them about the video and archiving requirements of our customer, and the expletives start dropping. Not at all surprised by the reaction, I keep forging ahead to the groans of the IT duo. How does this all tie to the new word of the day and the MG, you might ask? I'm getting there now.

The head of the production team overheard us and walked in, just as the groans were escalating and asked what was going on. Of course, this was preceded by the now-standard comment of, "You're in the brain trust (might explain this later), you should know how to solve this", or something along those lines. I did a quick recap for him and he asked why the video- my answer, MG has been talking to this customer and they're convinced that they can benefit greatly from his mad V1|)30 5|<1775 and populate their site with videos. The door to the IT office was immediately shut behind him.

"What? You mean the guy that sits over there making stupid videos all day?" "Yup" is the only reply that was fitting. "I don't know why we're paying that a$$ monkey as much as we are! What's he marketing for us anyway??!" Ooooh yeah, tempers were starting to flare now. Ranting, name-calling, and outright mocking ensued, loud enough that people outside were later asking what we were DOMINATING! and why was it so funny. "All he does is sit over there and rip stupid videos off of Jib-Jab and put pictures on bodies....why are we paying him for that??!" Minds and directions move quickly in an alpha-male pack environment.... "HE'S THE VIDEO-A$$-MONKEY!!!!" It was really too good to be true. "VAM!!!" instantly came out of my mouth. Coming from my last place of employ, acronyms are like a second nature to me now, and I really couldn't help myself.

It makes for a verbal version of a super-secret handshake now..... walking down the hallway, or into a room with each other and "VAM!!!" is all we need to say make the day a better one.

"VAM!!!"

Behold!! A marketing genius at work..........

As far as days at work go, it's a pretty slow day- working projects, getting people ready for "the next big thing" and managing my group of folks. My carpooling partner dropped me a little tidbit of information today, on the sneak as it were, and it was a real treat. We've got a new "Marketing Manager" in the company, and so far, no one seems to know what it is exactly that he's doing. Or what it is that he's marketing. It's really all pretty confusing. Sure, he's gone around to the various offices evangelizing the power of the internet, and even better, HIS power over the internet and how he's the "best in the world" at certain forms of advertising. Hmm, okay. Wonder why he's on our payroll then..... ?

Apparently, the MG (Marketing Genius) had a meeting this morning with all of the salespeople, sales managers, general sales manager, and the sales coordinators to talk about blogging, shovels and dominating. What follows below is a transcript of said meeting; all names and likenesses removed to protect the innocent and the incompetent.

Synopsis of Marketing Genius' Presentation

"MG opened up the meeting with a shovel for a prop. He seemed unsure about how to enter the conversation concerning the shovel, as if he was explaining the reason why he decided to use it. It gave you an unsure feeling from the beginning.

MG was wearing a black shirt that was very form fitting, and he seemed to have missed a button near his mid section. This was distracting as he was not wearing an undershirt.

The topic for the meeting was the blogs, both negative and positive, that have been appearing on the internet concerning ourcompany.com. This seemed to be a side note however, as we were enthralled by the reason for the shovel. Apparently when you buy a shovel, you are actually buying a hole. Somehow this equates to time and how we can save it.

He then mentioned the blogs, but his point was to tell us how he dominates the searches for ourcompany with his many informative videos. No doubt they are already viral. He proceeded to use the word “dominate” at least ten times and we were all captivated by this domination.

This led to a mention of his own blog and how many realtors are thanking him for his brilliance. This was followed by a stern warning that no one except himself is now able to blog without his and our president’s permission. The third reason for the shovel was somehow included in this topic, but it was a blur amid the reasons for MG’s gloriousness.

At this point general sales manager actually stopped him and asked him to please get back to the topic of the blogs. He explained that the blogs are going well. He mentioned domination again and also reiterated that hundreds of people are now reading his words and watching his videos.

The end of the meeting was a little bit obscure as I was distracted again by MG’s mid section and still stunned by MG’s domination of the internet."

Seriously? A blog and a shovel? I'm still at a loss to even understand it after talking to people who were present at the event. I'm at even more of a loss to understand what exactly MG is dominating in relation to blogs, videos and the internet in general, and how it pertains to our company. I'm pretty sure that he had a common shovel, much like this one:

In all actuality, it sounds like it should have been more like this one, so people could scoop away the crap he was feeding them.......

First post!

Good morning (depending on where you are) and welcome! I hope to keep this up to date with stories of the mundane, goings-on from here at the office and likewise regale you with tales of small corporation humor.